With
the uneven disk of the Cifitra’s fortress looming large straight ahead,
Panman stood proudly on the topside of the Nebulon. He gripped the handle
of the Thermal Containment Aperture’s hand crank, holding open the
aperture. A stream of energetic gas continued to shoot out into space. He
had been holding the aperture open for more than thirty-minutes now, and
in a couple of minutes enough gas will have been vented to ensure the engine
overload. The resulting explosion would be nothing short of invigorating.
At least that was what the bounty hunter hoped.
Panman looked to his right. There, docked to one of the Nebulon’s
airlocks, was the ever-impressive Blenheim – a vision of pure might
and terror against the black canvass of space. Even though Panman had flown
in that particular ship for several decades, the sight of it still filled
him with a deep sense of awe and pride. After allowing himself a few moments
of quiet admiration he activated his communicator. “Ace? How are things
over there? You’re going to have to detach in a minute or two, remember?”
Peter the Ace replied. “I remember. Things are fine here. Sind’a
Thighs has bound and gagged that fat-packed colonel and put him in a detention
cell.”
“Cool!”
“When she came up here to the bridge I was very impressed. She was
wearing nothing but a tight pair of black Palace of Amino thongs and a tube
bra, and she was caked in blood!”
Panman laughed. “Yeah, she’s been awesome! She eliminated dozens
of this ship’s crewmembers with her thighs alone!”
“That’s reassuring to know. She has definitely redeemed herself
many times over for her earlier shocking incompetence. Getting herself shot
down and allowing her ship to be destroyed on her first solo mission is
not something the Superior Beings ever look favourably upon. If she hadn’t
performed the exceptionally insane and improbable infiltration of that ship
in such an incredible manner she would certainly have lost her bounty hunter
status.”
“Yeah – her career would have been set back by decades –
even forever!”
“Indeed. Remember Silent Shabba Smith?”
“Ha! I’d forgotten about him! What a useless piece of meat he
turned out to be. His first mission as a qualified bounty hunter was a hilarious
disaster! All he had to do was rescue three malnourished Aeki banana carriers
from the base of an extremist group of fibrous trade terrorists.”
“Yes. He ended up destroying his own ship, the homes of the banana
carriers, and succumbing to the terrorists’ rather banal exam-based
brainwashing techniques!”
“He now works as a drain inspection consultant down in the palace’s
sewer cavern, I believe.”
“He does indeed. And he’ll be there for another fifty years
at least. If Sind’a Thighs hadn’t redeemed herself so completely,
only her well-toned thighs would have prevented her from suffering a similar
fate. She would probably have ended up as a token aerobic instructor in
one of the subterranean under-class fat camps.”
Panman grimaced. “It would take a strong stomach to put up with that
amount of mouldy sweaty flab bouncing around. Hideous!” The head-up
display on his visor popped up a message. “Ace, one minute to go!
I’ll be jumping off in thirty seconds. Detach!”
“Okay – detaching now. Remember to push off hard!”
“No problem.”
To the right, the Blenheim drifted away from the Nebulon, its thrusters
emitting a deep shade of red.
Ahead the view was now almost filled with the dark and jagged fortress of
the Cifitra. It was indeed an icy rogue planetoid devoid of beauty and grace
- a fitting location for a Cifitra’s hideout.
Panman felt himself grow heavier as the Nebulon suddenly altered course
and followed what was obviously a pre-programmed flight path to the fortress.
Peter the Ace spoke over the communicator. “That big ugly ship of
yours seems to be heading for an opening in an ice cliff in the northern
hemisphere of that planetoid.”
Panman chuckled. “Just as I’d hoped. It’s now pointing
exactly where I want it to!”
Another message appeared in Panman’s head-up display. It was time.
With the jagged icy surface of the planetoid now spreading beneath in all
directions, Panman crouched, and then pushed off hard. He drifted up and
away from the domed green hull of the Nebulon. The bounty hunter gasped
at the sight below. As the huge mouldy-coloured vessel dropped away, the
full frigid vista of dimly lit ice became visible, speeding by just a few
kilometres below.
Panman grinned, thrilled at the precarious nature of his predicament. To
celebrate, he selected some spiced chicken paste from his suit’s food
menu and gulped it down. And then he noticed that he was bathed in light
from above. Looking up, the bounty hunter could see the dense bulk of the
Blenheim, its lower cargo bay doors wide open and welcoming. With the poise
and elegance of a Hina prancer, Panman drifted into the brightly lit cargo
bay. Reaching out, he grabbed a handhold. The cargo bay doors closed beneath
him, the bay was re-pressurised, and then gravity was restored. The bounty
hunter slammed down onto the plated flooring. He opened his helmet and then
activated his communicator. “Ace? What’s the status of that
ship?”
“Sensors show a remarkable build-up of energy in its engine section.
It’s going to detonate any second now!”
Panman rushed to a nearby console. He activated its screen, and then tapped
into the Blenheim’s visual array. A high-definition image of the Nebulon
was displayed, a mass of black smoke billowing round its rear end. Random
jets of flame were forcing their way out from splits in the ship’s
armour plating.
And then a white flash burst across the screen.
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