Enchantia, the blissful location of the Palace of Amino, was looking particularly beautiful at the moment. The planet's wide oceans gently caressed and corroded its continents, its dense luscious forests oxygenating the atmosphere at a phenomenal rate.

With absolutely no warning whatsoever, two thousand starships of sinister intent vacated the comfortable serenity of subspace and entered a 2:1 resonance orbit around the planet.

"Update!" General Blubbard shouted as he gazed through the command bridge's giant view port at the blue and green planet below.

"Heavy orbital defense systems scanned." One of the plebian officers replied. "Surface scan is being jammed. No results."

"We have found the Palace of Amino!" The general exclaimed with glee. "Inform Lord Lawrence."

"Yes, general." Mervyn the communications cadet replied.

Without warning, Enchantia's orbital defences opened fire. Several hundred fighters were instantly destroyed.

"Maximum shields!" General Blubbard screamed as his awesome command ship shuddered under the barrage of energy beams. "Attack everything!"

All of his ships returned fire. Thousands of powerful beams of light crisscrossed the battle zone as ships of all shapes and sizes attempted to destroy the Enchantia’s defences and gain access to the surface.

"There is no response from Lawrence's mothership." Mervyn said dryly.

"Imbecile!" The general shrieked.

He pulled his fusion pistol from its holster and fired. The cadet, only twenty three years old and married with octuplets, howled in agony as his innards melted and eroded rapidly. He fell to the floor, twitched, vomited scorched flesh, and then lay still.

General Blubbard looked at Mervyn's communications screens. They stated an ominous fact:

ULTRA-SPACE COMMUNICATIONS LINK REQUESTED…

TARGET: MOTHERSHIP OF LORD LAWRENCE

ACCESS CODE: 2444

TRANS. TYPE: STEALTH1

AUTO-RESPONSE SYSTEM HAS NOT ACTIVATED

COMMUNICATIONS TARGET DOES NOT EXIST.

The general looked over to sobbing Sub-Cadet Theresa, Mervyn's assistant and secret chubby mistress. "Keep trying." He screamed.

Wimpishly, Theresa moved over to the communications console, stepping carefully around the blistered body of her closet lover.

"And get someone to clear away that corpse!"

"Activate all defence fields, re-route auxiliary power to the weapons systems and er… do anything else that you think is important!" Commander Pepe said to everyone at Amino battle command, two kilometres below the Central Tower of the Palace of Amino.

Because the Palace of Amino had never been attacked before, these systems had not been used. Many of the staff began to look through various operators’ manuals and consult the help options on the views creens. Because the software was extremely user friendly they quickly got the hang of it.

"What else should I do?" The commander thought aloud. "Oh yes, turn on the giant view screens!"

He looked around his console and found a switch marked 'Battle Screen Activation'. "That must be the one!" He pressed it. Immediately, at the front of the darkened command room, twelve giant view screens faded to life. Scenes of the space battle were shown in glorious high definition colour, relayed to the ground by twelve orbital camera stations. Their outputs were mixed by a super intelligent editing computer that produced a very entertaining film show, complete with an orchestral soundtrack. Some screens showed tactical information and various rotating computer graphic images.

"Most impressive!" Commander Pepe exclaimed. "We should keep these on from now on."; He took his seat in his sumptuous leather chair and took out a large manual from a compartment under his console. He looked at the first page.

PREFACE...

The Kilemal Command Console is the finest of

its type in existence today. As well as giving

the commanding officer total control of any battle

scenario, it also has direct communications links

with catering and entertainment systems, allowing

the operator to eat, view movies and play

holo-games at the same time that he directs a

conflict.

If you are involved in a real combat situation

at this precise moment and have never operated

a Kilemal Command Console before, turn

straight to chapter 45 for our 'Quick Start'

guide to all of the essential operations.

Happy slaughtering!

"Chapter forty five it is!" Commander Pepe said.

Several squadrons of skull fighter attempted to spiral through the almost grid-like barrage of energy fire from Enchantia's upper atmosphere defence satellites. They failed. Within a few seconds they had been blown apart. One pilot, who had somehow managed to eject in time, drifted slowly past one of orbiting weapons stations which was currently firing on another group of ships several kilometres away.

Maybe it hasn't seen me! He thought with relief. I'll float quietly to the planet's surface and ride out the war in total seclusion. I'm going to live!

A low powered beam of indigo connected with his torso, vaporising it completely but leaving his legs, arms and head intact. The pilot watched in disbelief as his various appendages tumbled away from him in all directions. Consciousness abandoned his brain.

"General Blubbard?" The scanner operator, Bernard Dranreb, said.

"What!" shouted the general, annoyed that his gaze had been taken away from the awesome battle that was taking place through the view ports.

Berbard continued. "I'm scanning three hundred ships of fabulous design entering orbit from the surface."

"Yes, yes, yes!" The general gleefully said. "The bounty hunters are coming to fight. This is our chance to butcher them like sheep in a grinder!"

"They are engaging and destroying our outer squadrons!"

"What? Tell them to fight properly!" General Blubbard screamed, smacking Bernard Dranreb's head hard against his view screen. Blood spouted from a gaping wound on his forehead.

"Yes, general" He said woozily.

"And clean up that mess!"

"Yes, general."

The general walked over to where Sub-Cadet Theresa was sitting. "Have you managed to make contact with Lord Lawrence?"

"No, general" She said, still weeping.

"What is going on!" The general bellowed. He walked quickly back to the command bridge's giant view port. "What is going on!" He repeated, banging his head hard against the window. He repeated that action three hundred times.