“It’s soaked right in.” Miss Dyson said, closing the cupboard door. She turned and faced Colin.

Colin looked at her, wiping his chin. “It was an accident. Sorry.”

Miss Dyson frowned. “Don’t apologise if you don’t mean it.” She said angrily. “It offends me.”

“Of course I mean it!” Colin said. “And the fact that you think I don’t mean it offends me!”

Miss Dyson clenched her fist and slammed it hard onto the thick oak table. “How dare you offend me by claiming that I offend you?! It was you who committed the ultimate offence in the first place!”

“What?” Colin said with disbelief. “You think vomiting in your bread cupboard is the ultimate offence?”

Miss Dyson clenched her teeth. “You ignorant little turd! That bread was freshly baked this morning. It was made from the finest flour for the King himself!”

Colin reached out and slapped her face. “Don’t call me a turd, you fat old cow!”

A hard punch split Colin’s nose. He stumbled backwards, stunned. Blood poured down his face.

“How dare you speak to me like that?” Miss Dyson screamed. “I am offended beyond reason.”

“Offended?!” Colin shouted, gargling blood. “Look what you’ve done to me!”

Miss Dyson glared at Colin for a moment. Then her expression changed. She began to sob. “I’m so sorry.” She pulled a chair from the table and sat down. She buried her head in her hands. “I work so hard to bake the bread every morning. I know I’m horrible sometimes, but baking is the only thing I’m good at. And the fact that the King eats it every morning is of great comfort to me. Now that today’s bread is drenched in puke, I’m so afraid that the King will have me dismissed.”

Colin walked over to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and spoke quietly. “You will not be dismissed, Miss Dyson.”

She looked up, wiping tears from her face. “You do not know the King.” She said. “He will be very displeased.”

Colin smiled, his teeth stained with blood. “I know him very well.”

“You do?”

“Of course. I am the King.”

Miss Dyson’s eyes widened. “I see it! Oh my, Yes! I see it! You are the King!” She dropped to the floor. “Please forgive me, your highness.”

“Ha!” laughed Colin. “You gullible lard bucket!” He turned and walked out of the room.

Miss Dyson stared after him. After taking a few moments to compose herself, she got to her feet. She sighed, opened the bread cupboard, and began clearing away the puke-soaked bread.